Top 5 Healthy Co-Parenting Skills Part 1
Family Divorce 101
Children are affected by divorce and can actually grow from the experience with effective parental guidance. Changes such as divorce are an excellent teaching and growth opportunity to observe and learn resiliency through change. It is an excellent modeling opportunity for parents to teach children how to effectively handle conflict. When parents do not handle conflict between them in a healthy manner, children can fail to adjust properly which can hinder normal emotional development, which will very likely carry over into their adult lives.
So what puts kids at risk for problems developing from the change in their family structure?
- The loss or lapse of parenting when children are left to care for themselves
- Disruption to their developmental task of “growing up”
- Inability to properly grieve or process the trauma/loss from divorce
- Experience of rejection by a parent which can be devastating to a child’s development of self worth and self esteem
Divorce is rarely accomplished without some level or hurt, anger and harsh words, however here are some guidelines for keeping children out of the line of fire between co-parents:
- Keep all adult related discussions between co-parents private, do not let children overhear these discussions
- Keep emotions and opinions of the other parent private and do not discuss them with the child
- If exchanges are difficult without conflict, do them in a neutral, public place
- Avoid conflicting messages from different parents, co-parents should communicate often via text message, email or voicemail to share all school, vacation, activity and holiday schedules ahead of time to avoid conflicting interaction or confusion
- Co-parents should never use the child to pass messages between parents
For more information on this topic please buy our new book Family Divorce 101 -A Guide to What Divorcing Families Should Know or our book for Therapists: Family Divorce Therapy 101 -A Clinician’s Guide to Best Practices for Treating Families Pre/During/Post Divorce (Amazon)
For more divorce advice and cost saving tips please buy our book Transitions Divorce® Prep Workbook
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Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. The opinions I express here do not necessarily represent those of my organization, Transitions Resource, LLC. The information I provide is on an as-is basis. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, suitability, or validity of any information on this blog and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its use.
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